J - Flow and F' Dup....F'd up!

The night was upon us. We had been in to the Privilage discotheque the night before and I drunkenly threw some scraps of paper onto the bar, our playlist, to show Xavier that we had been doing some preparation work. He told us he was excited to work with us and looking forward to the next night.

Upon arrival we were led to the DJ booth and told to set up our equipment. Xavier looked confused when the 2 of us produced a laptop and an ipod along with a couple of little wires and a portable hard drive. We told him to set the stuff up for us, I think at this point he still thought we were professional disc jockeys and this was just the demand of a diva.

Shortly afterwards the set started, our whole company were in the building and everyone had a great night, made all the more special by mine and F'Dup's multiple costume changes, at one point there was a penguin and a dinosaur spinning (or clicking) tunes in the booth.

About an hour before the set was due to finish Xavier stopped providing us with free beer and what was once a smile had definate scowl like qualities to it. The night ended and we packed away our gear.

'Good night Xavier?' asked F'Dup
'No, it was a very bad night. You told me you were DJs, you are not DJs. This is the first time, it is also the last time.' was his response.

Needless to say, it was an extremely fun night, we got paid 40 euros each to play our favourite songs and I think it is quite an achievement to be able to tell people we got our entire company banned from a nightclub!

Still Here

Last Night J told me it made him 'really sad' that I didnt blog anymore, and he looked very close to tears as he said it, so J, this one is for you. Chin up old boy.


First things first though, to clear up a few untruths he has been spreading in my absence...


Yes i am learning to snowboard, but learning is the important word here, I am only just starting to link turns, but i did make a dramatic improvement in the middle of last week after my favourite guest of all time took me snowboarding for a couple of hours. I did seriously hurt my bum, but did wonders for my self confidence. And I never use the word gnarly, J is just jealous because I have formed a professional relationship with a cute californian who works for a rental company who has for some reason decided to supply me with lots of free stuff. I now have 2 snowboards and 3 pairs of skis! I find it funny, and J is mad jealous, so its a win win situation.


The reason I have not been updating that much is because I NEVER have my laptop, because someone else always has it, which has recently started to bug me. Also I've been ill for about 5 days now... I have been burning the candle at every single possible end, and thought I was getting better at coping with little sleep but alas, the 'work hard, ski hard, party hard' lifestyle has caught up with me and I have crashed in spectacular fashion. Had some time off work, which I have spent drifting in and out sweaty sleep. J has been very good though, force feeding me berocca and lemsip. My roommate Alice moved out though as she was worried about catching whatever I had, and I have missed her like you'd miss a leg. Alice is the best roommate in the world: she wakes me up every morning at exactly 7:20am and then comes in again at 7:25am to make sure I have actually gotten up. If I am having trouble getting out of bed, she gives me a private strip tease whilst singing 'Big Spender' tunelessly and with the wrong words. She always holds my hand whilst we fall asleep, and if im cold she lies on top of me. Amazing, Alice, come back to the abode d'amour. Oh the other thing she does is talk non-stop in her sleep. Proper conversations. Sometimes she swears furiously.


It was valentines day yesterday and I got NOTHING. that was pretty rubbish. Actually thats a tiny lie, James who runs the chalet next door bought me a vin chaud but I sense that was a pity drink. And my lovely flatmate Anna gave me a flower, but I think she found it, so that doesnt count either.

A the boarder...

I would just like to apologize on behalf of A for her lack of posts. She has been extremely busy becoming a 'boarder'.

It all started about a week ago when our company offered her a free boarding lesson. Since then everything has changed. She stands differently, has a bad attitude and says 'Sup' with a nod of the head to greet people. It's not just a sport though, it's a language...yesterday she told me that my lemon drizzle cake was 'rad' before going off on an incomprehensible rant about smiling rocker frowney snowboards. 

I'm not sure how I feel about this. On one hand it's always good to be associated with 'cool' people (she was a massive nerd before). But on the other hand I liked her a lot before and now, if I'm honest, I'm a bit scared of her. Apparently her feet have turned goofy, whatever that means.

Other people seem to be really into the new A too. This week a lovely guest of ours was a snowboard instructor and took her out for a free lesson in the afternoon. But the strangest thing, somehow, out of nowhere this magical American ski man has just started popping up in our chalet without appropriate identification, saying 'Sup' and giving A free boards and skis. He won't leave her alone. He had given her a pair of boots and a board before he knew her name and now he knows it she has 2 new pairs of skis also. I don't know.

If A isn't too cool now to update on here I'll try and get her to do a post but to be honest she will probably be too busy sitting on kickers being gnarly.

J - Flow vs. F'Dup

Exciting times in resort. Myself and my friend Fred were having a drink in a local bar and we were talking to the bar staff about the local 'discotheque'. The owner of the aforementioned discotheque; Xavier, happened to be propping up the bar next to us and for some reason Fred decided it would be a great idea to tell him that we were super cool famous established DJs from London.

Two days later we find ourselves in the club at 5pm having a beer with Xavier letting him know our terms and talking money. It was a pleasant enough meeting, made slightly bizarre by the following conversation.

Fred: 'How do you feel about costumes?'. 
Xavier: I don't understand.
Fred: Sometimes when we do our shit back home we like to dress up crazy and freak people out a little bit.
Me: Yeh... like a pirate.


Xavier runs over to the DJ booth and appears moments later wearing a huge spikey green wig shouting 'COSTUMES ARE FINE BY ME!'.

Somehow we have managed to secure ourselves ('J Flow vs. F'Dup'), a 3 hr minimum set from 1-4am on the 22nd of Feb. We are getting paid 100 Euros to stand in the booth and choose songs on our ipods.

The poster outside the club now reads 'J Flow vs. F'Dup : Big Vibes and Classic Grooves'.

Not the resort for 9 year old lady loving party animals

A's absence was a difficult time. I was forced to do such tiresome things as learn where things are kept in my kitchen and grate things. A usually does all the grating, she's got a weird grating fetish, a gratish.

I finally got my co host back on Tuesday and I went along to the airport with my boss to pick her up as a surprise. I also arranged for our friend working in another resort to meet us at the airport and come and stay for a few days so it was a very exciting reunion, made even more exciting by the fact that A bought presents. I got a packed lunch box.

We've had a pretty boring couple of weeks with guests. Nothing particularly bad, just nobody exciting. My highlight from last week was made by our 9 year old guest named Tom. Tom was a lovely kid, very helpful and always hanging out in the kitchen keeping us entertained.

On the last day of the week before Tom and his family left, myself and A were quizzing him about his time here, asking if he was gonna go out for a beer that night, maybe meet some girls. Our friend Fred asked him if he had met many nice girls during the week to which he nonchalantly replied, 'Nah it's shit round here!'